Letters From The Heart

Letter writing is becoming a lost art, one worth reviving. It is a soothing process and a way to soothe hurt. We've talked about reconciliation recently, and I would be the first to acknowledge how daunting it is to reconcile with people, face to face. Sometimes the words just won't come in conversation. The timing is not right. There is little privacy to say what needs to be said. The words will not come, or they come in a rush, all jumbled or not just right. " Stand up straight," Mother would say. Speak clearly, no stammering, no muttering, no hesitation!" It's a tall order, especially in an emotionally charged situation.

There is tremendous healing power in letter writing, both for the writer and for the reader.  For the reader, much like a cherished book, a heartwarming letter or card can be a treasure, kept and reread. Have you encountered someone in your life, who, minus, face-to-face inhibition, writes vicious, anonymous notes or letters? It is abuse of a powerful medium; a medium never to underestimate. Personally I do not have a good e-mail persona. My e-mails come across as clipped and too strongly worded. Texts really don't get it, either. In fact texting is becoming increasingly less popular, according to recent statistical studies.

If, like me, you are better off thinking and organizing your thoughts, before speaking, letter writing may be the best way to speak from the heart. Finding or creating just the right card can add creativity to the process. Imagery brings personality to an ordinary letter. The wording does not have to be fancy, nor does the handwriting. I once asked a friend what to write to my former voice teacher, who had been a wonderful influence in my life. My friend suggested three words, I love you.

The words, I am sorry, work well, too. Reconciling family differences can be more difficult than negotiating a treaty with a foreign government. Here are a few rules to consider. First take accountability for your part in a problem or impasse. Don't rehash how hurt or angry you were, or how wrongly you were treated.  Understand that some situations call for more than diplomacy. Some situations call for "a hero," in the words of Dr. Phil. To me, that is someone who does not focus on being right or wrong. Rather it is the person who can see past "sides," who can apologize or acknowledge the hurt and anger of another person or other people. Pen in hand, offer peace, not blame; no-one will be the worse for it.

If you wonder what you can possibly contribute to love and healing in a larger context, write to a perfect stranger. A young New Yorker, Hanna Brencher started an International movement, based on writing "love letters." The back story of how Hanna started the movement is on her website. Living alone in the City, a new college graduate, she found herself isolated and depressed.
https://moreloveletters.squarespace.com

...eventually (my) thoughts morphed into letters and I found myself myself ripping the letters out and leaving them all over New York City for people to find. I left them everywhere: Coffee shops. Libraries. Coat pockets in department stores. I liked to imagine who might find those letters.

Somehow that idea took on a life of its own after I blogged about it. My inbox was filled with the most heartbreaking stories I’ve ever encountered after I published a simple question on my blog: Do you need someone to write you a love letter today? Just ask. -Hanna Brencher

Become a letter writer. It requires slowing down a little, putting a bit more creativity and care into communicating. Become one of Hanna's letter writers. Either or both, will do your heart good.