Remembering Diane

     

     Diane, wherever you are, I hope you can read this. Please know I am sorry to have been the one to leave first. Memory is tricky, a blessing or a curse, depending on one's perception. Insomnia is the same, bringing clarity and exhaustion in rapid succession. Last night it was a dream that awakened me in the middle of the night. In my dream you are well, waving at me from the lunch counter of our favorite Greek place. You are not burdened by the oxygen tank with the sticky valve, and you are accompanied by, of course, a cairn terrier puppy. It is a dream of fulfillment, of emphysema cured, loss of a beloved canine companion, reversed.

      My friend and former neighbor, Diane, is petite, with cafe au lait skin, short silver hair and green eyes. She is intelligent and uncompromising -- unavailable for chit chat, gossip or other trivial pursuits. We liked each other right away, destined though we were, to complete separate journeys. I take some consolation in recalling our adventures and circle of friends. I dedicate this post to Diane, Carol Jeanne, Mary and Stan.

Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody expects of you. Never excuse yourself.  -Henry Ward Beecher

      We were the Mighty Five. I cannot describe each person fully, except to say we were formerly: 1) a ground-breaking animal trainer; 2) a political power broker; 3) an author/archivist; 4) a teacher-turned legal administrator and; 5) a woman banker. What a bunch, all living in so-called affordable senior housing, most with physical limitations, some in constant pain, some, shopping at a local food bank. If this seems alien to readers, given our backgrounds, think again. 

     This post is not about unforgiving fate, however. My friends and I had the courage to meet and publish an agenda of empowerment for ourselves and our neighbors. We bore the brunt of accusations from neighbors, who saw us as conspirators. We started to reclaim a resident council and form a management corporation. We held Catholic Charities and Community Service accountable for retaining a corrupt site manager. We promulgated truthfulness, countering management's lies. We demanded respect against a backdrop of systematic patronization. 

     Did we succeed, or did we fail colorfully? It is a fair question. We succeeded in getting a resident council election and the consensus to draft a new constitution for a new, effective, resident council. We failed to entertain the possibility of a rigged election, underestimating the culture of fear in our housing. Some of us have died, some have moved. The point is, we made honest efforts in a place where honesty is still at a premium.

     My readers will know my conviction. It is quite simple. Elders do not thrive in housing designed to isolate us in ethnic, economic or religious clusters, or to chain us irrevocably to disability.