Speaking of Pain

Fibromyalgia is, by all accounts, a punishing disorder. Here, though, is a dilemma. To doubt a another woman who suffers from fibromyalgia, is not merely unkind; it has become politically incorrect. You may well wonder why anyone would doubt or minimize another woman's painful disorder. I admit it is an attitude toward fibromyalgia that stems from recent experience. I have become acquainted with two women, who say they suffer from the ailment. It has not been a pleasant acquaintance. One woman, 50, has been ill with fibromyalgia for a decade. I'll call her Becky. An individual whose illness is her life, Becky is self-involved, entitled and demanding. She's a devout church goer, however, having turned to religion to ease her psychological pain. It is extremely difficult to have a conversation with Becky; although she appears to be a bright woman, her 'fibro' and her church are her sole interests.

The second woman is Becky's friend and my neighbor, Mona. The two have become fast friends. Mona loves to discuss ill health, hers and others'. If you are in pain, however, do not enter the fray. Your drama will never earn the spotlight. If another person has an ingrown toenail, Mona has gas gangrene, and will have to have her foot amputated. Unlike Becky, Mona has interests other than  fibromyalgia. A food fanatic, Mona always has nutritional advice to offer. She is an organic, gluten-free, non-GMO, high fiber, low salt, no sugar, low fat kinda gal. Once Mona befriended Becky, fibromyalgia seemed inevitable.

So, what is the truth, is this shared ailing psychosomatic or sympathetic, or both? I neither choose to speculate, nor to share their pain dialog. I'm not the best at empathizing with these women, but will try to offer kindness, rather than judgement. Others in these women's lives have to stay the course and try to keep sane themselves, but, not me (at least, not me all the time.) In the interests of better understanding of fibromyalgia, however, here is a link to the May Clinic I found helpful:  http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/fibromyalgia/basics/definition/con-20019243

Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself. -Walter AndersonWe have talked about chronic pain and stress management in prior posts, and, in the case of fibromyalgia, it seems particularly important to find and maintain both emotional and physical support. If you suffer the widespread pain and fatigue of fibromyalgia, make a conscious effort not to speak your pain, not in body language, facial expression and not in your conversation. At least try not to speak your pain constantly. The first benefit will be perspective; pain tends to recede with the importance we give it. The second will be a change in our ownership of pain; we can decline to own our pain, in favor of creativity, for example. Relationships will bloom with others who seek, speak and manifest wellness. A pain journal may help; it will not only help you to manage your chronic pain, but, also for care providers, family and friends who need greater understanding: http://pain.about.com/od/livingwithchronicpain/f/pain_journal.htm

Finally I offer a link to a site with practical advice and support for sufferers of fibromyalgia: http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org