Women and Pain

In the same way the lives of elders impinge on the lives of family members and friends of all ages, what affects women, particularly on a global scale, affects men. October 2013 to October 2014 is the International Association for the Study of Pain (IASP) Global Year Against Orofacial Pain. There is a greater issue behind this, the issue of women and chronic pain:  http://www.iasp-pain.org. The description of orofacial pain on the IASP site follows:  " ...a very frequent form of pain perceived in the face and/or oral cavity, caused by diseases or disorders of regional structures, by dysfunction of the nervous system, or through referral from distant sources." This site contains a wealth of information regarding chronic pain in women.

I am all-too familiar with the statistics regarding women and pain. More women than men suffer from certain conditions associated with chronic pain; fewer women than men receive effective treatment for chronic pain. The gap is both pervasive and real. Having suffered chronic pain, I know intimately the challenges it brings. My life's struggle has become addressing the causes and effects of degenerative joint disease. I've committed to avoiding pain medications and lifestyle choices that will further degrade my health, or hasten my death.  Depression, anger and fear over the ongoing reduction in the quality of my life can only serve to worsen my condition, so I continually work on my attitudes and beliefs.

Note to self:  I am doing the best I can with what I have in this moment, and that is all I can expect from anyone, including me. -Anonymous 

My interest in the larger context of women and pain was renewed recently, due to encounters with a friend of a friend I. Pam is in her forties, moves as though she were in her eighties or nineties. Her pain and profound unhappiness, are ever-present. She is slender and would be quite attractive, were it not for chronic misery and a tendency to self-immersion. Pam suffers from fibromyalgia, cannot work, and lives on Social Security benefits. Her health decline began a decade ago, when her husband suddenly died. It was , outside of anything else, a huge financial blow. As the widow of an underinsured spouse, Pam struggled with grief, financial loss and all the stressors of a life derailed. Before you dismiss fibromyalgia as a fictitious ailment, please know I've done the same. However what I know for certain is never to dismiss or diminish someone else's experience. Just listen; anyone who has chronic pain has certainly heard all manner of advice.

Love, not just self-love, but the healing of a loving relationship is critical.  I'm compelled not to shy away from the gender-specific issue of pelvic pain. It is excruciatingly difficult for women who deal with it.  It affects a woman's sexual life, but is difficult to discuss, even with a trusted physician. A 2009 book by Isa Herrera, Ending Female Pain: A Woman's Manual, is a worthy read for women and our sexual partners.

Research funds, like developments in the diagnosis and treatment of women worldwide, have never been equally available. We women can help ourselves, and there are many resources available online. Here is another good resource and a cause to espouse: http://www.endwomenspain.org. My personal favorite reference, in spite of Lance Armstrong, or, maybe because of his battle with cancer, is Livestrong. 

One thing every woman must do is stand up to the medical establishment. Many years ago, I had a physician, an OB GYN, dismiss my suffering. Don't get me wrong, he was not unkind in his dismissiveness. He patted my hand, while I vomited non-stop in his office. His answer to my 24/7 hyper emesis of pregnancy was, simply, take time away from my teaching career. I asked him how acceptable it would be for him to leave his profession and patients behind for several months, and what he expected would result. Male or female, if you are suffering from a chronic condition, this journey, like all other life journeys, is one of education, discovery and self-advocacy. Above all take heart. The dialogue about pain continues to evolve.

We are a long way from gender equality in medical research, diagnosis and treatment specific to women. Let us look toward changing attitudes and public policy in this country and worldwide. 

   

The Big A

While I'm ranting, why not tackle the subject most underrated in the wake of a difficult week, Accountability. It goes hand-in-hand with integrity. How often do we hear, "I was unaware ... not in control ... not in charge." Or, "I am under such pressure, I can't keep my commitments." Here is my favorite from both sides of the aisle in the government shutdown: "The demands we're making are not unreasonable demands." Denial and deflection have become high art in our society. Does it seem to you, they are simply reflected in our politics?

I live in a transitional urban neighborhood. There are still plenty of issues, in spite of recent development. A major theft caused one business to close its doors within months of opening. Tagging, graffiti and other vandalism are commonplace. The darker undercurrents involve drug dealing, as well as registered and un-registered sex offenders living in the immediate vicinity. My closest neighbors and I watch out for each other. It makes urban life bearable.   

We have a shelter in our neighborhood for homeless youth; a recent addition is 5280 Youth Center It seems it should be a good addition, a place for struggling boys and girls to attend events, eat and celebrate, although, not to congregate. (It just is not a safe place for the unwary.) 

I'll refrain from addressing the trend of 'tough love,' a holdover from a previous era, except to say this. The reality of living with derelict youth is far from ideal. Neighborhood residents endure fallout from Youth Center events -- loud, vulgar exchanges, rude behavior, damage to landscaping, littering, marijuana smoking and loitering. 

After an event this week, two giant planters were trashed, plants torn out, potting soil dumped on the sidewalk, and the watering systems pulled out. Plastic bottles, pop cans and candy wrappers abounded, and a dozen or so unsupervised males congregated behind commercial buildings. The individual in charge at 5280 Youth Center states his policy, "Once program attendees leave the facility, I am not responsible." If this has a familiar ring, refer to the first paragraph.

Life goes on, and the common undercurrent of our daily lives returns to the shocking lack of accountability in government. Washington D.C. is a reflection of our collective will or, is it our collective willingness? In any event, our elected legislators will not be picking up the tab for the $24 billion government hiatus. That will fall to American taxpayers. 

“A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody.”
― Thomas Paine

Meanwhile the excuses just keep rolling in, and the debt crisis is a sword of Damocles, hanging over our heads. The deadline will come relentlessly, while American citizens pay daily in deficits of trust and prestige here and abroad. We cannot any longer afford to be uninvolved. We have to be personally accountable, in order to expect accountability.

As for me, I'll have to make a trip to the Youth shelter and center, to see what I can contribute. 

A Bad Joke

What perfect timing for Democrats to propose another "one-time" $250 payment to Social Security beneficiaries. The "Obamacare" herring has stopped flopping around on the House floor, and the GOP has emerged from the woodwork with it's genuine agenda. Good to know the DieSooners haven't gone anywhere.  Cuts to Social Security and Medicare are their baby.

President Obama opened a door sometime ago, stating he favored tying Social Security to the Chained Consumer Price Index, which would reduce benefits. The reductions would be smaller for current beneficiaries than for future beneficiaries, smaller for impoverished Americans than for other groups. The cuts would be greatest for high earning retirees. Is this supposed to make us feel better? One journalist said she could think of lots of struggling young families who could use the money. Apparently she is not a member of a family that helps elder members with day-to-day needs, such as groceries.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. -Bill Cosby

Now the President is talking out of the other side of his mouth about seniors in this country, who are struggling just to keep food on the table. He's saying we will receive, at best, a token Cost of Living Increase in January, and, as a group, we are not faring well. -Really? 

Let us be clear. President Obama is using the life lines of senior citizens, Medicare and Social Security, as bargaining chips AGAIN. Is the $250 proposal based on his fear of the sheer numbers of older Americans who vote? I'd say it's some more smoke and mirrors by a man with a talent for rhetoric, but the lack of character to fulfill his promise.

Cleaning up waste and fraud are critical. Social Security should be strengthened. There are rational, reachable, methods for doing both. As a nation we do not have to engage in austerity measures we know create chaos and do not work. I am in doubt, personally, whether the current failures of government are not a product of manipulation by a particularly nasty faction, wealthy power brokers and acrimony. The GOP lost the last presidential election and the war over the Affordable Health Care Act, but they came out with their bag of dirty tricks intact.

One statement is fair in describing what has happened in America. The voices of the majority of Americans have been squelched. We were already drowning in special interests, the step children of a burgeoning crop of wealthy plutocrats. Now we're collateral damage, not in a war of ideologies, but in a war between elected officials with no stomach for anything other than winning.

Meanwhile, what do you think, will we get our lunch money? More to the point, will we forget the fear and loathing we've experienced, as the government shutdown and debt crisis threatened American lives? Hmmmm?

And the Hyena said to the Jackal ...

   

Do you ever have the feeling you have lived too long? When Barrack Obama was elected President of the United States, I recall rejoicing to have lived long enough to witness that time. Meanwhile scandals, some horrendous, have come and gone. This nation, so damaged by economic savagery, struggles to regain its footing, but continues to fail to regulate its financial institutions and enforce the laws of the land. The President is a slick debater and, as beleaguered as he is, he's no hero. Who knew Vladimir Putin would emerge as, at least, a smarter strategist.
     We do not have decreased unemployment; we have increased underemployment. We do not have social or economic justice; we have an incrementally growing gap between haves and have-nots in this country, based upon greed and bigotry. People like my parents, both orphans, abandoned and abused, cannot find purchase, because there is so little opportunity for anyone in this country, other than the overprivileged few.
     America is not being held hostage; it is falling apart at the seams. We do not have lack of leadership, we have an intellectually and morally bankrupt House of Representatives, a pack of noisy hyenas. The jackals on the other side of the aisle are no better. They move in, while the hyenas are attacking their own. They value winning above all else, so, in a perverse way, they partner with the hyenas. We have a ruthless elite in this country, winning at the expense of the the Republic, itself. It is neither ludicrous, nor disgusting; it is dangerous.

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. --James Bovard, "Lost Rights: The Destruction of American Liberty"

     Speaking of dangerous, how has the NSA scandal affected you? Have you had any new insights about privacy, since Snowden spilled the beans? My own epiphany came out of nowhere. I just got tired of tracking shipments of purchases made online from a couple of suppliers. In tracking one such package, I saw a tiny ad on the UPS site, saying I would no longer have to track packages; I could just sign up for e-mail or SmartPhone messages. Once a package is soon-to-be delivered, UPS, God bless 'em, would alert me. Wow. Herein begins the lesson. As I registered on the UPS site, the company asked me to verify my identity.
    The verification questions blew me away. UPS knows I stayed in a resort on Collins Avenue in Miami nearly two decades ago. UPS knows where my daughter lived recently, although we do not share a last name. They think I stayed in her home. They know who my grandson is and his birth date. Finally UPS knows someone named Lenore Cole, whom they believe to be my relative. I have no living Cole relatives, as I am the only child of two orphans, whose siblings died young. By ignoring the information they have on poor Lenore, I caused my own demise. UPS refused my identity.
     Who the hell are these people, what is their source for all this erroneous, albeit extremely sensitive, information about me and mine? The weird thing is we've never shipped things to one another via UPS.
      Right now I am thinking the NSA doesn't just have our information. They have corrupt ethics, but they also have corrupt data. Now that, my friends, is as dangerous as our federal budget rip tide.


   

I Am Not My Disability

Adult ADHD

We talk a great deal about empowering one another, particularly in the fields of health and education. If it is to be more than lip service, empowerment requires focused personal growth. We often talk about empowerment in the same way we talk about the celebration of ethnic diversity. 
     In fact, more often than not, we tolerate or overlook differences. Even though we use the term differently-abled, we're overlooking the differences, not celebrating the small steps and accomplishments.
     To maintain a close, personal relationship with a friend or family member with a disability is another matter. Honoring the whole person, disability and all, is a balancing act. Lacking insight, we try to have reasonable expectations, but we often err. There is no way to know how an injury, illness or disability challenges someone we love; there is far too much to know. Not everyone responds the same way to the same set of conditions. It must be extremely frustrating for a physician to learn by error, revising a treatment plan, hoping something will work. 
     Dog trainers admonish clients not to lose patience, if a dog disobeys, or learns slowly. The first thing is to observe whether the animal is in pain, sick or injured. Equally important, make no further demand. In other words, drop it! The effort will achieve nothing; in fact, it will be counter-productive. Any trainer will tell you dogs have bad days and good. Exercise patience and try alternate approaches. Cesar Milan sums it up perfectly. A calm, assertive manner and the calm assertiveness of peers are the most powerful training tools at an owner's command.
     If only we could teach people to relate to other people the same way! It would alleviate hasty, unfair, judgments. It would demand we look for insight first, then, express expectations in a calm, assertive manner. We could drop the subject. We would be accountable for how we conduct our side of the relationship, and it would encourage fresh starts.

Confidence and empowerment are cousins in my opinion. Empowerment comes from within and typically it's stemmed and fostered by self-assurance. To feel empowered is to feel free and that's when people do their best work. You can't fake confidence or empowerment. -Amy Jo Martin

     Here's another thought: so many disabilities, injuries and illnesses are invisible. Add to this, we tend to ignore the disabilities of high-functioning people. We do so by failing to perceive the person as more than his or her achievements and capabilities. We just don't see people who overcome challenges as having climbed 14,000 foot peaks to get where they are. 
     When a neighbor revealed his disability to me, I realized I'd had no grasp of his disability or his private, daily struggle. An acquaintance, who works in a health profession said, when she looked at an injured or ill patient, she envisioned the patient healed. I was grateful she did not use the word whole, because everyone is whole by definition. 

Besides asking more and better questions, we can rethink our reactions and recognize the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Shutting down ...

"What, me, worry?"

Get your copy, while it's hot! It's "Mad Magazine," the Washington D.C. edition. House Republicans will not fund the United States Government, unless Affordable Health Care ceases to be funded. The shutdown, however, will not impede changes taking place under the Act, because the funding is not in the Congressional budget.

     "Where is the surprise in the current meltdown," you may ask. After all this nation has operated sans budget, since 2009, narrowly averting a shutdown, until now. In the event anyone is worried, until a couple of weeks from now, when the nation finds itself poised on another debt precipice, here is how the shutdown will affect most of us: 

• Furloughs: Federal employees (800,000 of them) will be furloughed. They can look forward to being paid retroactively, once the shutdown is over. At least, that has been the case in the past. Personnel engaged in services, such as air traffic control, hazardous waste removal and food inspection will not be furloughed. 
• Office Closures: Of course, furloughs mean federal office closures, not just in Washington D.C. The Department of State generates sufficient fees to support it's operations. However, offices located in federal buildings affected by the shutdown may not be able to open. 
• National Parks: None of us and none of our foreign visitors will be able to visit national parks, national zoos or national museums. All National Park Services sites will close, 368 of them.
• Travel Documents: With any luck, you have a valid passport, particularly if you must travel abroad. Passports will not be issued. The shutdown of 17 years ago halted the issuance of 200,000 travel documents. The impact on cruise and airline revenues was extreme, not to mention, tourism suffered worldwide.
• National Defense: Active duty military members will remain on duty, but a bipartisan bill seeking to protect their paychecks failed in January. They won't be paid, until the government is functioning, and appropriations for military pay resume. Families of non-commissioned personnel will be particularly hard-pressed to meet their needs. There is additional bad news for military personnel. Some administrative functions will cease. Medical services will be limited. Facilities maintenance will be suspended. Most of the civilian employees, who serve the military will be furloughed. 
• Death/Taxes: Deaths will proceed as usual, as will the IRS. U.S. bonds will continue to be issued and other essential banking functions will remain in place. The U.S. Postal Service will also be unaffected by the shutdown.
• Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives: The shutdown will apply to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, in case you were wondering. They won't be issuing gun permits for a time. That's okay by me, personally. Government loans, however, such as small business loans, won't be being processed, nor will federal home loans. 
• Social Security: Social Security will likely send checks, except, of course, to new beneficiaries, but veterans aren't going to be in great shape, as their checks will be delayed. 
• Washington Residents:  If you live in Washington D.C., btw, buy a supply of surgical masks, aromatherapy oils and tall rubber boots. D.C.s budget is driven by Congressional approvals, so an estimated 500 tons of garbage will accumulate in the Capitol weekly. -Nice. 

Colorado residents are definitely on edge, because so many are recovering from disastrous floods. The state's infrastructure was so drastically damaged, we cannot afford delays. Ironically, national polls estimate only 51% of United States citizens blame the Republican Party for the current state of affairs. -Huh?