In The Absence of Love

       I had another terrible night on top of an unproductive day. My neighbor, R.R., becomes daily more anxious. He is having to cram a life time of memories, and the physical makings of his home, into boxes and crates. He must figure out what to leave, give away and trash. It is affecting me daily on a subconscious level, even when I am not there to witness or help. Out of desperation he wastes time attempting to redress the wrong he has suffered. This is not the time to hold the landlord accountable; it is the eleventh hour. He must move.
      Meanwhile I pray my R.R. will focus, the move will go unexpectedly well, and the losses will not break his heart. Most people who get to tax-credit housing, have already endured considerable loss (it shows more in some than in others, but this is the last resort, before homelessness for many.) Caring in the face of what seems lifelong disappointment can be an insurmountable challenge.

      I have been where my neighbor is today. Decades ago, in the wake of a bitter divorce, in the absence of love, we sold our Boulder home. Six years into single parenthood I broke. The large house and property in Boulder, Colorado, had become a black hole into which I poured hard labor and money. In addition the property, situated at the base of the NCAR Mesa, regularly bore the brunt of catastrophic wind storms. Clinical depression took a firm hold on me. Neither crisis intervention, nor psychiatric treatment relieved a crippling emotional paralysis.
     I had put my teaching career on hold at the worst possible time. Demographics were changing everywhere in the nation, not the least in Boulder County. Public schools were closing their doors, as student populations dwindled. My eventual solution was to downsize, and return to a business-related occupation. Fortunately I was able to land a job in a downtown Denver stock brokerage, Douglas and Company.  We rented a townhouse outside of town.
     The townhouse was small, so much of our larger household had to go to storage. The couple at the mom and pop storage facility, who seemed so sweet, were elderly sharks. They immediately tasted blood in the water. They waited patiently for the inevitable. Things went well for a few months. 
The end of my dream job came with brutal certainty. One morning a line of grey-flannel cutouts presented themselves at the front desk. I peered out of the window of my office, wondering, "SEC or Feds?" In no time flat the CEO and his partner lost their licensure. The doors closed within weeks. My last paycheck went for rent, groceries and school supplies. A local French restaurant hired me to work evenings as a dinner chef.  
      While I waited for my first check from the restaurant, Mom and Pop cut the bolt on my storage unit. They auctioned the contents just as a payment deadline approached. It was total devastation. Every scrap of my parents' furniture from prewar China vanished. Gone were photographic albums, framed art works, art objects. Worse my children's clothing, furniture, books, toys and photos went with the rest.
      It was by no means over. We had to vacate the townhouse. My beloved Irish Setter went to a pair of graduate students, who lived in the mountains. We moved to the only place I could rent, a trailer in a rural town between Boulder and Denver. The day we moved the drive train of the car broke. I wondered how far we could sink, until we discovered a black rat carcass under the kitchen sink of the trailer. My Siamese cat took care of the rest of the vermin. We disinfected like mad, but an epidemic of Bubonic Plague in the trailer park made headlines throughout the Southwest.
      I eventually went to work in the Trust Department of Colorado National Bank. It proved too little, too late. Rather than see the two younger children further deprived and endangered, I relinquished primary custody to their father and his new wife. My elder daughter and I made a home together, but she began to suffer emotionally, as displaced children do. The younger children went to private schools. They had all manner of advantages, but spent years in family therapy with parents, who lacked the most basic parenting skills.
       I hope R.R., who is relatively unencumbered, and who has a loving family, will fare well. I shall miss him -- he is a bright, kind, funny, man. In the end we can counsel and care for each other, but life takes us down lonely pathways. Despite sadness and desperation this is a memorable time. We shared dinner night before last. A friend came to visit, a wonderful musician, who played his viola for us ... right in the midst of the packing boxes. Extraordinary!
      Reality checks for depressive symptoms are routine for me, even today. My solid footing will return -- it always does. Meantime I can be present for my neighbor, until he returns home to Anchorage.

Pills or Lifestyle Changes?

Last week my blog post dealt with that battery of antacids and the little purple pills for "acid reflux." Maybe you've taken a proton pump inhibitor over a short period, and suffered no perceptible ill effects. Or, like me, you may have taken the purple pills over the long haul, and suffered side effects. Another realization we all reach at some point is, even though some symptoms have shown improvement, the root cause of our discomfort has not improved. On the contrary it may have become a far greater problem. Delicacy forbids me from being more specific here, but some of the gastrointestinal symptoms are, let's see, I think a good word is horrid. Here is a link to a "New York Times" article, with one patient's story: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/25/combating-acid-reflux-may-bring-host-of-ills/?_r=0

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. ~Dr. Wayne Dyer

     Two interesting aspects of  the woman in the "New York Times" article were her age (she was young) and her brutal schedule. Herein lies the problem. Young or old, alternate healing and lifestyle change work, but they work over the long term. I know, I know, your physician did not treat the PPI as he would a narcotic pain medication, by saying, this is a short-term solution. While you may notice immediate relief with something as simple as a slanted bed or pillow, designed to elevate the upper body. Other healing techniques, such as diet and exercise take time. So-called home remedies work, but they work more gently and it takes time to realize their efficacy. Don't be put off, either by the terms conventional medicine likes to attach to these. A remedy is a remedy, symptomatic relief is symptomatic relief. 
     Bottom line, time is a question of priorities, right along with the energy and thought we put into meeting academic, workplace and domestic expectations. Ask yourself whether there is a more important priority than recouping your health? That is the only question. The young student in the story was so driven to achieve her overwhelming goals, she put a patch on the problem and kept on with the habits that got her into trouble, in the first place. The patch came not to work, although it is nothing short of amazing that she got a decade, before she entered an entirely new phase of disease (or, collapse.)
      Before you go on another antacid trip, skip another social event (or suffer through another family dinner and its aftermath,) it may be time to consider lifestyle changes and alternate healing. A number of websites, from Livestrong.com to the Mayo Clinic's site, give good, solid advice. The only problem is whether or not you will commit to the long haul of gradual treatment. Here is a brief collection of recommendations from these sites and from personal experience:

Eliminate Food and Beverage Triggers.

1) Coffee or tea (both regular and decaffeinated) 

2) Carbonated beverages
3) Alcohol
4) Citrus fruits, such as oranges and lemons
5) Tomatoes and products that contain tomatoes, such as tomato sauce and salsa
6) Chocolate
7) Mint or peppermint
8) Fatty or spicy foods, such as chili or curry
9) Onions and garlic.

     There is a learning curve here, as in all things. Experiment a little; some foods may be consumed at the right times in the right (small) quantities. For example, a taste of chocolate or fresh tomato in a salad at mid-day probably won't harm. I find it difficult to do without oranges, for example, but I buy little mandarin oranges, and eat only part of one at a sitting. Alcohol, on the other hand, has become a no, no, and I miss a glass of wine with a meal. Again on a special occasion, a sip probably wouldn't do me in. I do not consume soft drinks, but I do occasionally drink naturally carbonated mineral water.

     The best possible diet and pantry rehab would addresses chronic inflammatory disease. Remember the heartburn/signal fire analogy? Often heartburn or "acid" indigestion signals inflammatory disease. Chronic inflammation may be in the body in places where do not suspect it.  Gary Null's anti-inflammation guidelines and cookbook are excellent on the subject. Look at the cookbook, and you will realize the ingredients for an effective anti-inflammatory diet are accessible. It is a big shift for many people, but it is so worthwhile, a lifesaver, in fact.

Natural Helpers

1) Apple Cider Vinegar with "Mother" Culture
2) Ginger
3) Licorice or DGL Chewable Tablets
4) Aloe Vera Juice

I would only add a thing or two to the list. I'd add 'alternative' sweeteners and vegan butter substitutes. Unfiltered raw honey is both a disinfectant and soother. Use it in moderation; it is sweeter than sugars.

Lifestyle Changes

Stop smoking.

Smoking precipitates heartburn and acid reflux disease in several ways. It may increase the amount of acid secreted by your stomach and when your stomach secretes acid. Nicotine is a culprit, because it interferes with the function of muscles that help keep acid down.

Loosen your belt. 

Take pressure off your abdomen:

• Don't wear tight clothing, girdles, shape wear panties, tight belts.
• If you're overweight or obese, take steps to lose weight with exercise and diet changes.

Sleep on the slant. 
If you don't have an adjustable bed, buy a GERD pillow, or place blocks under the head of your bed by 4 to 6 inches, or more. This will help to keep your stomach's contents down. (Do not use extra pillows because of the danger of increasing pressure on the abdomen.) Nap in a recliner, with the head and upper body elevated. Finally stop eating at least two or three hours, before lying down. No, really, no snacks, no cheating.

Ask your doctor about medications.

Acid Indigestion and Reflux may be triggered or exacerbated by medications. Do some research, and ask your physician. If you self-medicate or self-prescribe, be aware of the potential harm you may be doing.

• Aspirin, ibuprofen, naproxen and other anti-inflammatory pain relievers
• Some muscle relaxants
• Certain blood pressure medications

Heal a herniated hiatus with diet and exercise:

The Livestrong website has some excellent exercise recommendations for healing a hiatal hernia: 

http://www.livestrong.com/article/310958-exercises-to-stop-a-hiatal-hernia/

The above food, beverage, medication and lifestyle issues for GERD are the same as for a herniated hiatus. There are additional foods to avoid, and measures that will help close the hernia. Dietary changes and cooking tips can be found here:
http://www.webmd.boots.com/healthy-eating/guide/hiatus-hernia-diet-tips

Outsource This!

Think you've suffered the nightmares of the damned with foreign call centers? Oh I do not mean to offend you in any way. I know you're a veteran of outsourced Customer Service! After all do you not have a year-long relationship with Sengupta (or some other Gupta) in India's Call Center Hell? What's that you say? You've taught him better than to put your call on speaker, calling a halt to the laughter and scorn of Gupta and his co-workers over your technical challenges. Buckle up, baby! This is going to be a rough ride. You are about to meet ... bum, bah, bum, bum, Tammy, the American Call Center Queen. 

In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity. ~Hunter S. Thompson

Mistakenly I telephoned my Insurance Company to ask a couple of questions about the status of a claim. On the Insurer's website, there is an instruction to call a certain number, after hours or on the weekend; there was nothing about being flat unable to reach a living human. My Claims Adjuster was unavailable, and not returning my calls. So I called the after-hours number, and spoke with a gum-smacking, soda gulping nitwit, named Shana, explaining that I had questions for Ms. Adjuster. Shana cut me off mid-sentence. She said it would be best if she "researched" my account, rather than listen to my concerns. Shana returned, declaring, "The woman you have been speaking to is not an Adjuster for the Company, and had no authority to make recommendations. She went on.  "Ms. Adjuster was not IN ANY WAY, authorized to act on your behalf." She ended by saying no-one was so authorized, and no-one was available to take the call in Ms. Adjuster's stead.

Having instantly stepped down the rabbit hole, I responded as best I could. "I cannot imagine why an Insurance professional would overstep her boundaries in this manner. Why would she? Shana simply repeated her stand, so I asked to speak with a supervisor or manager in Claims Adjusting. "Dear, I am a supervisor in that department, and I am telling you, Ms. Adjuster has no authority. Anyway, smoch, smoch, Ms. Adjuster is on vacation for another 7 weeks. You won't be able to reach her, until..." Your issue will just have to wait. 

I started to get hot. "This is egregious," I said. Shana paused, seeming not to know how to respond. I went on, "I will find a decision maker. I will find a regulatory agency. When I do, I intend to file formal complaints." I wished Shana and her wad of gum a good day, and rang off. A few minutes passed, when Shana's alter ego, Tammy, entered the picture. Tammy spoke to my voicemail (oddly enough, sounding exactly like Shana, gum and all.) She wanted to apologize, and said she was the person with whom I had been speaking. At this point I began to laugh, thinking of Lily Tomlin's Ernestine.

Tammy said she had reviewed my file (evidently, within minutes.) She owned she had been mistaken about Ms. Adjuster, who did have the authority to do what she had assured me she had done. Tammy alleged she had mistaken the Adjuster's name for the name of someone else on the staff. That would mean, of course, she was not a supervisor in Claims Adjustment. She reiterated that Ms. Adjuster would be unavailable for more than a month and a half. Tammy had no idea how angry an angry bird can be. I saved the voice mail, and the record of my first phone call to the company. I e-mailed Board member, documented the incident, and requested his immediate action.

Not long afterward I received a personal call from a Vice President of the Company, who apologized to my voicemail at length. People talk to my Android a lot, these days. Then I got a call from Claims Adjustment, stating my matter was resolved. I'd receive a letter confirming this, within (now) a few days. I mentioned to the Vice President that I expected the Board member to man up, and apologize himself. Together we reviewed what had been said and done. Shana/Tammy, it seems, were Call Center Girls, not IN ANY WAY authorized to speak or act for anyone in the Insurance Company. Hysterical.

My call was mishandled by one or more employees of a call outsourcing outfit in the United States. All I can say is, if you plan to outsource anywhere, be careful! Be sure your organization is as big as Texas and not under water, so you can incur dislike and contempt with impunity. If your organization is not for profit, try to remember, you rely upon both client satisfaction and donations to stay alive long enough to serve anyone!

Cheap is virtually never good. Really, would you want Susan or Tammy to represent your company, even indirectly? Outsourcing may be one of the lamest ideas, since the dawn of time.

A Little Purple Pill

Antacid with that, Ma'am?

     GERD happens. I wrote a previous post, which talked about acid reflux, or Gastro Esopha-geal Reflux Disease. Whether you view it as a disorder or a disease, GERD happens to people of all ages, even, infants. For many women, it is a daily ordeal of pregnancy. The condition may simply follow months or years of "acid" indigestion. It is very important not to ignore symptoms, such as acid reflux incidents or difficulty in swallowing. Few of us equate them with cancer of the esophagus or stomach, but begin by not ignoring symptoms, on the chance they may signal cancer. Part of the problem with acid indigestion and acid reflux is, we don't view them as dangerous ailments. 

Do you suppose there is any living man so unreasonable that if he found himself stricken with a dangerous ailment he would not anxiously desire to regain the blessing of health? ~Petrarch

     Like so many conditions we've come to accept as part of aging, more elders suffer from acid indigestion and GERD, than do our younger counterparts. There is some truth in equating acid indigestion with age; many people less able to produce stomach acid as they age. Then there is the brutal truth posed by the cumulative effects of unhealthy life choices. We so want to believe we are suffering because our bodies have mysteriously begun to produce too much stomach acid. Never mind that it seems counterintuitive to believe otherwise. We have this reinforced by our physicians. Like most people, if my doctor says, "You're suffering from hyperacidity; I believe it. Anyway, I can taste the stomach acid of GERD. 

     Of course it does not help to have inherited plenty of myth from our own parents and grandparents. To top it off we're bombarded with a media blizzard of ads for antacids and proton pump inhibitors. Marketers know we want comfort, and, now. It is little wonder we reach for the easy answer. Before you open that bottle of antacids, though, think about what they do. They reduce or virtually shut down stomach acid production. Maybe we need stomach acid? Even if the problem were too much, rather than too little, stomach acid, antacids are not designed to address the causative imbalance. On the other hand, if we are not producing enough stomach acid as we need it, antacids exacerbate the problem, so we're making ourselves worse.
     Once antacids are solving nothing, or making things worse, your doctor may prescribe a protein pump inhibitor, a PPI. These are effective in the short run, so much so, they are among the most overprescribed drugs in history. Now that PPIs are commonly available over the counter, maybe, you'll simply try one. From experience you will feel bullet proof within a day or so. Whopeeeee! (Fade to t.v. ad on luxury yacht.) Please read the brochure, before you take the PPI. In reading the fine print, know this: Big Pharma does not have to report all of the side effects of the medications it produces. In addition, at best, the PPI is safe to use for a little over one month.  

     This is important. NO PPI was meant to be used for more than 6 weeks, period. Researchers in the development of proton pump inhibitors warned against high dosages or prolonged use of any PPI. By 2010 the FDA repeated some of the issues raised by these researchers in its report.  The sad and terrible thing is, these drugs remained immensely popular, in spite of the report, which echoed the researchers' recommendation to have patients discontinue the use of PPIs at or before 6 weeks, millions of people continued to use them for decades. 

http://www.fda.gov/Drugs/DrugSafety/PostmarketDrugSafetyInformationforPatientsandProviders/ucm213206.htm
     Ordinary antacids do not pass the acid test, either, no pun intended. Antacids of all sorts are associated with: 

• Decreased Absorption of Vital Nutrients from Food 
• Bacterial Overgrowth 
• Less Effective Immune Systems (opening the door to serious diseases) 

    Increased joint pain is a possible outcome of years of PPI use. It is what happened to me. It is said to be a rare side effect of the use of a particular PPI. It is also how I found out pharmaceutical giants do not have to disclose side effects believed to occur infrequently. Trust me there was no consolation in the notion that my profound joint pain was rare. While I was in excruciating pain, terribly stiff, and having my life diminished to an unrecognizable level, there was no such thing as consolation. Nor was my "issue" something I immediately associated with my PPI. No, it took more than a year and countless hours of researching medical sites and consumer feedback, to figure it out. Absent better ideas from the medical community, to solve the problem of a herniated hiatus, it took more research, commitment, time and effort for me to eliminate the PPI and antacids from my diet.

     To be entirely up-to-date regarding PPI issues is to be aware of a recent data-mining study, in which Stanford researchers noted that the use of a particular PPI increases the likelihood of eventual heart attack. So look upon the fire of heartburn as a signal fire. Ignored or improperly addressed over a period of months or years, it will likely become much more than an occasional or minor discomfort. Heartburn may signal the impending failure of an entire system of the body. Next come diseases, such as hypertension, depression, anxiety, migraines and insomnia. One or all may be related to the failure of stomach acid production and poor protein digestion. Read this statement again, and think it over. Even if it is not a given in each and every case, it is a game changer. 

     Finally consider what happens, when we cannot digest proteins. Nutritionists know the body must have appropriate levels of proteins for health. Amino acids from protein are converted to protein molecules, neurotransmitters and Nitric Oxide. All this is just to say, without sufficient amino acids, we suffer various nutritional diseases. Nutritionists also know people reduce their intake of salt, voluntarily or at the behest of their physicians. The problem is, they faithfully eliminate salt, while taking antacids or PPIs. It is a bad nutritional move. Sodium Chloride (salt) is the only source of chloride available for the body's production of, wait for it ... Hydrochloric Acid. 

 In next week's post I'll revisit lifestyle changes and alternative methods for approaching indigestion and GERD.

Large Scale Bullying

Smokin'

A lifelong non-smoker, I was raised by parents, both of whom were heavy smokers. One of my parents died at just under 51 of cancer, the other, of a massive stroke (with a carton of smokes in the freezer.) From cigarette burns on everything from fine furniture to evening attire and ugly cigarette stains on porcelain sinks, I loathed smoking. My parents had such impaired senses of taste and smell that I once alerted them to the odor of natural gas in a motel, where we were staying. They could not smell the gas tracer, but decided to have the gas company check for a leak. Fortunately nobody lit a cigarette, before anyone responded, or we would have been blown back over the Continental Divide.

Just out of high school I became a competitive skier and mountaineer. I was never again tempted to smoke. I am the last person on earth to sound an alarm about non-smoking zealots. In fact it would be easy for me to become one of them. In the high school where I first taught, the Superintendent of Schools, Dr. Stukey, automatically disliked any teacher who smoked in front of him. I began to keep cigarettes and a lighter in my handbag. Every time I clapped eyes on Dr. Stukey, I lit a smoke, and walked around with it dangling off my lower lip.

...what was happening with anti-smoking zealotry wasn’t nannying or nudging. It was instead plain, simple bullying. ~Frank Davis, Blogger

We have entered the bullying arena in the LIHTC where I live. The building has been open for something over 6 years. I was delighted, when the announcement of the opening appeared on the bulletin board of my previous housing. It looked to be a solution to the issue of quality in affordable housing. It has certainly been a journey, I'll give it that.

A couple of months ago management asked residents to complete a questionnaire. They wanted us to "vote" to have smoking prohibited inside our apartments. Ever suspicious of this landlord's motives, the word vote at the top of the questionnaire gave me pause, as did the "give us your opinion" request. Based on experience I declined to complete the questionnaire, and wrote a note to the Site Manager. It said something to the effect, I felt her request for an opinion and vote was disingenuous. "Regardless of the outcome of any ballot initiative," I said, "It is clear to me, the landlord will do as it sees fit." I went on to refuse aid the landlord to intimidate or bully residents, regardless of the issue. It seemed ridiculous impose a rule the management would not be able to enforce. What I failed to foresee were scare tactics. I did not imagine management would shake a big stick, and/or make examples of random tenants. Predictably a few weeks passed, and the change of rules was announced. The fanfare required us to attend a mass meeting, at which Denver Health representatives lectured residents about the rather obvious vicissitudes of smoking, and made suggestions as to how to stop the addiction. It was so reminiscent of my freshman year of high school. 

The meeting also involved signing a new lease addendum, repeating all the rules of the "community" and adding the prohibitions against smoking in apartments. The wording, however, banned nicotine, as well as any form of marijuana, medical or otherwise. We are to have no candles lighted, burn no incense. (Well everybody knows incense covers marijuana smoke, or, at least all college dorm dwellers think so.) "Hmmmmm, I mused, "No nicotine, ergo, no nicotine patches, no gum or lozenges, so how the hell are people to step down from their nicotine addictions?" Enough of that. I was absolutely unprepared for what happened next, and for what is still happening. The Site Manager posted the meeting/lease signing and policy notices in each elevator foyer, from the first floor to the fifth. I live on the fourth floor, so, the morning of the posting, these caught my eye. Someone, however, had scrawled in huge letters, "IF YOU SIGN THE LEASE ADDENDUM, YOU DID NOT PASS GOVERNMENT 101." There was a letter posted, as well, signed by one of my close neighbors.

The letter of protest, which my neighbor termed a missive, rambled more than a bit. It was pretty specific, however, that he has served his country, is a disabled veteran, and should be able to live as he chooses. All true, but he forgot just one or two details. First this is a huge, paternalistic landlord. Second Colorado is a tenant-unfriendly state. A landlord can evict for good cause, or for no cause at all. My friend sort of skipped over the part, in which, he has no money to move, certainly not on the turn of a dime (no pun intended.) I know this man, and know he would not imagine a witch hunt in the making, upon reading all the notices. He wouldn't make an example of anyone, because he believes in "freedom and justice for all." As for me, let's just say I am older.

My friend's next mistake was to telephone to say, he did not intend to comply. Well, duh, nobody here intends to comply. I won't say the words, "in the fullness of time," because the response was nearly instantaneous. A notice to vacate the premises, precluding any opportunity to recant or sign a lease addendum after the fact, was slapped on his door forthwith. He had, indeed, retracted his letter and his refusal to comply. He offered to sign the addendum, and apologized -- not good enough.

The man is a disabled veteran, whose health issues, alone, should preclude eviction. Too beaten to fight, he has agreed to move. Worse, the stress landed him in the hospital, where doctors found a massive infection, cellulitis, and kept him. He has, since, had two surgeries and many infusions of antibiotics. His V.A. housing counselor made repeated telephone calls on his behalf; she never received an answer. He did get a reasonable accommodation, and now has until the end of June to vacate. He will sacrifice a great deal of his property. It is sad.

I realize this is a huge developer/landlord seeing after its own interests, all the while lowering its insurance rates. I get that. What galls me is having the Nanny Site Manager blowing sunshine up my skirt, telling me how wonderful it is we've entered a new era of healthy living. Here is a link to an opinion you may find offensive. Or, if you are like me, not so much!

https://cfrankdavis.wordpress.com/2013/03/24/large-scale-bullying/