The Message of Christmas 1949

Whatever else happened in North America's towns and cities, Winter 1949 brought extreme hardship at home and abroad. I'll relate two stories here, one less well known than it's international backdrop. During the Winter of 1949, the United States was engaged in the second year of the Berlin Airlift. We often hear the words humanitarian crisis applied to incalculable human suffering. The Soviet Union's Berlin Blockade precipitated such a crisis.
     The back story of the Berlin Airlift is of power hungry governments engaging in political hostage-taking. Does this sound familiar? The difference between now and then is striking; 1949 has been called "America's Shining Hour." The Berlin Airlift stands out as a Christmas message of reconciliation and hope. More of the story of the allied effort and the story of The Candy Bombers may be found via the following links:

http://www.thecandybombers.com
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/airlift/

     One Christmas a decade ago in Denver seemed particularly bleak to me. Living in the worst imaginable Section VIII housing, I passed the door of a friend and neighbor, Verdell Youngdog. Verdell was a Lakota Sioux, whose father managed a cattle ranch on or near the Pine Ridge Reservation. As I walked by, I saw Verdell had posted a handwritten Christmas story on his door. I'll do my best to retell the story of the Youngdog family and the Blizzard of '49.
     The family awakened early one morning to find their home buried to the roof in snow. Verdell and his brothers dressed in the freezing cabin, to help their father dig a pathway to the barn. Later, over hot coffee and biscuits, the boys talked excitedly about the coming community holiday potlach. Their father worried aloud how to reach his bovine charges. 
     Over days of extreme snow and cold, cattle froze to the ground, unable to get to food or water. Food for Pine Ridge families dwindled; Verdell's mother made do with dried beans, salt pork, coffee and the makings for biscuits. Water sources were buried in snow and partially frozen. Medical supplies were non-existent, candy or gifts for children, a distant dream.
     Christmas had come and gone. In spite of heroic efforts by ranchers and hands, cattle were dying in the thousands. One dawn, Verdell awakened to an unfamiliar sound. He had no time to investigate. The noise continued off and on, while the boys dressed, did chores and ate. Curious, Verdell and his elder brother kept searching the clouds. What they finally saw stunned the two boys! Airplanes were flying overhead, dropping parachutes with hay bales, and all manner of supplies for animals and people.
     The pilots who flew over Pine Ridge started by working day and night, during their holidays, to supply residents in the worst disaster areas. The manpower, planes and supplies required resources already committed to the allied effort in Germany. In the "can do" spirit of a generation, more fortunate families provided, and pilots delivered, relief and so much more. 
     Once the supplies were distributed, the Youngdog family postholed many miles through the snow with their share of the supplies, joining neighbors, to celebrate belated holidays. They decorated a tree with hand-made ornaments, sang, told stories, and shared a warming meal in the community center. There were giveaways and, best of all, candy for all the kids!

You have to look deeper, way below the anger, the hurt, the hate, the jealousy, the self-pity, way down deeper where the dreams lie, son. Find your dream. It's the pursuit of the dream that heals you.
-Billy Mills, Oglala Lakota

     My footnote to Verdell's Christmas story is this. The Youngdog family, never recouped the losses of Winter and Spring 1949. Verdell's parents died young, and the children scattered, some coming to Boulder. Verdell, whose grandmother, Jennie Youngdog, survived the massacre at Wounded Knee, accepted everyone, regardless of color. I never heard a sorrowful, bitter or hateful word come from the man. Verdell and his sister pay it forward, even now. Verdell, who carries the honorary title of Uncle among the Lakota, makes an annual trip to carry supplies to native people along the Trail of Tears.

It seems to me, if we want America to be truly the land of the brave and the free, we must begin with tolerance, sharing and justice. It is my Christmas dream and my prayer.

A Giving Heart

Christmas is coming and the goose, who has been tasting all the baked goods, is getting fat. So here's a little guide to holiday giving 2013 ... for the rest of us. Here's a nightmare scenario. The USPS advises many packaged gifts are arriving infested with bedbugs. If you're sending stuff all over the country, like the fruitcake you're re-gifting, maybe, rethink. It's getting a little late anyway. A package or envelope with a lovely, VISA gift card is hypoallergenic and a welcome sight. Frankly I don't find it rude to express a preference for a gift card, nor do I get ruffled feathers, if someone requests one. There are many ways to personalize what you may feel is an "impersonal" choice. Anyway, it isn't about you.

Christmas... is not an external event at all, but a piece of one's home that one carries in one's heart. 

For those concerned with the etiquette of giving and receiving gifts, here is a favorite set of tips: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/relationships/etiquette-manners/gift-giving-etiquette 

Here is another, more comprehensive, set of suggestions that also address gracious receiving. This is the time of year, remember, when it is often more blessed to receive (gracefully) than to give. A warm smile and a brief thank you note always suffices. Try to keep your grateful game face on, while unwrapping the world's oddest necklace, made from old buttons, the pomander ball for your closet, the millionth muffler in colors that do not occur in nature. Lighten up, the Arc donation site is just down the street.
http://www.designsponge.com/2013/12/modern-etiquette-gift-the-right-gift.html

Keep in mind, a gift is from the heart. A gift is a gift, not a requirement. An act of kindness can do a world of good. This promises to be a difficult year for many of us, but money need not be an issue. One year I gave certificates to people for services I'd gladly perform, ranging from an evening of caregiving, to high tea made and served by me. How about offering a child an afternoon of crafting or cooking. Many libraries and museums offer discounted or free admissions, perfect for outings with kids in the new year. A certificate can be plain or very fancy, as can the packaging, so turn the creative juice loose!

If you have a sweet tooth and/or you'd like to give someone a sweet treat, here is a recipe for sugar plums. They are delicious and ridiculously easy to make. These keep in the refrigerator for a month. For speed demons, chopping can be done, using a food processor. (Be careful to pulse lightly, scrape, and repeat, chop, but don't overdo it.)
Use:

3 oz (1/2 cup) dried apricots, coarsely chopped
3 oz (1/2 cup) toasted pecans, coarsely chopped
1 oz (1/4 cup) dried cherries
1 oz (1/4 cup) prunes or dates, finely chopped
1 oz (1/4 cup) toasted almonds, finely chopped
2 tbsp cherry preserves
1/2 tsp cinnamon or other sweet spice
1/8 tsp cloves
1/2 cup granulated sugar

Combine finely chopped fruits and nuts together, mixing thoroughly. Add cinnamon and cloves to the jam and mix into the fruit and nut combination by hand; kids love to get their hands into the jam, fruit and nuts. The mixture will form walnut-sized balls, once it is thoroughly mixed. Roll in granulated sugar, and place in paper candy cups, or store layered with waxed paper; cover tightly. It is fine to reduce the jam and add a tablespoon of good brandy or cognac. Vary the spices, if you like (allspice, cardamom, coriander, nutmeg ... all work.)

Sweet dreams and visions of sugar plums to all!

One World of Children

Eager Students

This is the season for giving, and the last opportunity many people will have to top off their charitable giving for the year. There are so many charities, from which to choose. Our local Public Radio Station sent out a plea, this morning, to support "local resources." This is a plea for a charity in a far-flung place, Uganda. The charity supports widows and orphans, who are among the world's poorest, most vulnerable, citizens. The organization is Samaritan Development Organization, whose initials are SADO. It is established and licensed by the government of Uganda as a non-governmental organization, and has a proven track record in devoting all the funds it receives to the population it serves. The word Samaritan says it all. To care for those in distress is simply the right thing to do.

Why children in a place so remote? These are the children of the world, one world. They are the hope of their country, the future of Uganda. As they are the future of Uganda, they are the future of Africa. As the future of their country goes, so goes the future of our world. People like to say, "You are family." To me, these children are family, as is the young man who founded SADO, Freddie Nyanzi. Freddie, a family man himself, has has devoted his time, strength and substance to help boys and girls who have nobody.

History will judge us by the difference we make in the everyday lives of children. -Nelson Mandela

One eye-opener came in a conversation with Freddie. He said he was on his way to visit a children's prison, to counsel and help there. If need is a perception, my perception of need among Uganda's children changed dramatically in that moment. An orphanage without bedding or nets for little boys and girls is enough to hit me in the heart, but a children's prison?

Please help with a financial contribution.  I vouch for SADO, which has proven its effectiveness in housing, feeding educating and counseling Uganda's orphans. Currently SADO is trying to fund a Christmas party for the orphanage. Even a small donation of money will help now, or in the future.

Here is an excerpt from SADO's Mission Statement: To further educational development ,agriculture and animal projects in the most impoverished areas where many children and youth lack access to affordable ,quality education and basic needs such as clothes, food, medication etc .

To contact SADO by post:  Post Office Box 31234, Kampala, Uganda
Phone: +256 752 487724 / +256 752 983495 / +256 312 515107

Here is the link to SADO's PAYPAL Account:

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=GLH38JZ3B7BWQ 

Here is how to find the Samaritan Development Organization Website: http: //www.sadouganda.com
E-Mail: info@sadouganda.com. In addition SADO has a Facebook Fan Page, rich with photographs and video clips of the children and their progress. It is listed on Facebook by its initials and name.

Christmas 2012

Me and The Grinch

Whew! Thanksgiving 2013 is finished, picked as clean as the turkey carcass after the soup. We may have limped toward it, but two of my children, a grandson, and I, had a glorious dinner together. My children worked way too hard, but we have a new plan for next year. 

Sooooooo, what's the Christmas plan? For my part, I'm going to try not to let the Grinch get hold of Christmas. First I made a declaration last year not to be in tight spaces with certain extended family. Next, poor as I am, I turned down a Christmas catering contract, electing, instead, to celebrate with my children and grandchildren.

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. 

-Charles Dickens

Instead of writing Santa this year, I've written notes to the Grinch:

• You'll have a hard time finding me in your favorite haunts, Mr. Grinch. No malls, big box stores or parking lots for this gal. There won't be family 'discussions,' either. We will not incorporate causes or conflict into our celebration of Christ's birthday. 
• If you really want to consult with me, I'll be hosting a treat room for patrons of a small pet boutique, Saturdays in December. You won't like it. The shop owners involve themselves in animal rescue, so they are generous and caring. While I am there, I'll take in the fun and color of my neighborhood Winterfest. This may not make you happy, but I'll be delighted.
• Although you're lurking about, Mr. Grinch, I refuse to allow you to shame me into doing the same things I've always done. I've already said no to participating in certain things, and the list is growing, because I'm redefining the word celebrate. Christmas is a feast of music, lights and food. I mean to enjoy them all.
• No, thank you, Mr. Grinch, I'm not running about to attend this, that and the other event. I plan to eat a healthy meal or snack, before I rush off anywhere. (I don't plan to accumulate Christmas baggage, physical or emotional.) I'm rarely tempted to drink more than a glass of wine with a little food, so no holiday hangover or attendant regret is headed my way.
• As we were discussing, Mr. Grinch, fatigue becomes no woman. I don't plan elaborate decorating, crafts and cooking projects for Christmas. Nor is Winter going to hamper my willingness to exercise. Long walks can be a challenge, depending upon Denver's weather, so I'll buy my dog an indoor gym pass at the Zoom Room. Me? I'm starting a yoga class.
• What do I believe this holiday should mean, Mr. Grinch, besides not having you in it? This is a tough question, besides general giving and forgiving. Love is enough.
• It feeds my soul to prepare for a year ahead. It's the time of year to purchase new calendars and great reads. 
• Christmas means volunteering. In my neighborhood, there is a homeless shelter for teenagers, a perfect opportunity and place for sharing with the people who are best at keeping Christmas, Who Children.

Knock yourself out, Mr. G, try and steal that!

Holiday Help for Caregivers

The challenge of caring for one or more family members at home confronts approximately one-third of American adults. If you are one of these family caregivers, you are undoubtedly aware of the resources available in your community, which offer the training and tools to help caregivers succeed. Many are online, as well. Here are a couple of good links.

http://www.aarp.org/home-family/caregiving/ http://caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/content_node.jsp?nodeid=2224

Huffington Post contributor, Hilary young provides a thoughtful article with tips for holiday survival for caregivers here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hilary-young/tips-to-ease-holiday-stress-for-caregivers_b_4261379.html We know for certain, it is a stretch to attend to everything and everyone day-to-day, let alone, during holidays. First you may have to change or lower your expectations and those of family members. 

     This may not be the Thanksgiving to gussy up and get dive into a restaurant crowd. This also may not be the year to try turducken or mom’s incredible pumpkin chiffon pie for the first time. Plan and cook ahead, if possible. If you insist upon cooking, America’s Test Kitchen’s recipe for braised turkey is moist and perfectly delicious. Best of all it is easy and the turkey makes its own gravy, as it cooks!

http://www.americastestkitchen.com/recipes/6830-braised-turkey-with-gravy.

     Plain and fancy pre-cooked Thanksgiving meals are available for pickup or delivery. Just do it! Don’t look back. From Sam’s Club or Costco, to Whole Foods, depending upon the budget, you can order an enjoyable, totally stress-free meal. Cooking is my life, but, if there is going to be bread and pie baking it will be done elsewhere this year. Nor will any of us be killing ourselves to make the household spotless. 

     Get out the good china, sterling and crystal, and dress everyone to the nines. Or serve the meal on disposable tableware to a jeans-clad crew. I promise, the latter is perfectly acceptable. We gather to celebrate gratitude, itself, and the people who share food and drink at our tables. Memories of celebrations past may be joyful or sad, but nostalgia doesn't have to be tied to expectation; just be happy now.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. - Melody Beattie

     A critical part of every holiday is self-care, particularly for caregivers. On the Never Do List is neglecting to set aside downtime, whether you spend it alone meditating, or engaging in pampering or entertainment. Be as generous with yourself as possible, and, by all means, enlist help. Once depleted in mind, body or spirit, we cannot serve others effectively.

     I plan to make a wish or blessing jar this year, decorate it, and pass it around the Thanksgiving table with notepaper and a pen. Some of our family will be taking vacation breaks this year. The rest of us are literally and figuratively limping, but we plan to enjoy each other and rare face time ... priceless! 

     Care giving, more often than not, feels thankless. Thank you for the myriad things you do every day, large and small!

Home For The Holidays

The holiday season rolls in like the surf; once the surf is up, we’re on the wave. But, since we’ve visited here time and time again, we’ve stored memories, hopes, traditions ... expectations. Sometimes we forget happiness comes from inside each of us. Joy it is strictly a product of spirit.

Thanksgiving 2013 will be tough for me, personally, and I seem to be limping toward the finish line. For millions of American families, loss of work and/or income will make this holiday season challenging. The good news is, some of the most heartwarming holiday stories have come out of the hardest times. O. Henry's "The Gift of the Magi" is one of my favorites. The "Online Star Register" features it and other classic tales. 

Keep it simple, using this equation:  First, the best gifts are from the hearth and heart. Second, stay away from crowded malls and big box stores. Third, if you find extremely crowded Internet sites and potential purchasing errors, a pain, do a minimum of shopping online, and don’t delay. (I ended up going to a mall at the eleventh hour last year, because an Internet order could not be fulfilled.) Finally, buy local products at local events, and try your hand at homemade decor and gifts.

Sharing the holiday with other people, and feeling that you're giving of yourself, gets you past all the commercialism. - Caroline Kennedy

Not everyone is craft-crazed, but Internet sites, such as Pinterest , feature great ideas for creating decorations and gifts.  Here is a link to Pinterest, and a link to countryliving.com.

https://www.pinterest.com/craftzine/holiday-crafts/

http://www.countryliving.com/crafts/holiday-crafts

Martha Stewart’s site is superb, but I’m assuming people either consider themselves craft wizards, or not. If you are not in the wizard category, start with simple, inexpensive projects. We've all had our crafting disasters. One year, with no chance of buying a Christmas tree, I dragged two very large tumbleweeds inside to strip the debris, then, paint them. This proved beyond messy. Spray paint and glitter came next, also a mess, not to mention, I never did like the finished products. I’ve also really hurt my hands, making Christmas wreaths with wire coat hangers for the bases.

One really fun, easy project to do with children is bread dough Christmas ornaments. There is a tutorial on YouTube, but it is relatively simple, and everybody gets in on the action. Here is a link to the recipe for the dough.

 http://allrecipes.com/recipe/dough-ornament-recipe/

Meanwhile, if you are among the millions of people, who will work up to and during the holidays, be sure to take particular care of yourself.  In the next post, I’ll have ideas for beleaguered working stiffs and the most heroic people of the season, caregivers.

Relinquishment and Renewal

Pi Patel and Tiger Adrift

We relinquish so much, as we age, don't we? Often we relinquish our physicality, and with it, our sense of wellbeing. Buddhism has a great deal to offer concerning the need to relinquish gracefully. One thing my Christian friends and I share is learning to drop the need to control everything and everyone in our lives. As a Navy brat, I moved with my parents constantly. My father would get his orders, and, poof! Suddenly we would adapt to a new coastline, mountains, climate, culture, address, school and work. I would cross my fingers and toes in each new venue that the people, animals and things I'd come to love would not melt away. It was never to be. Nor was goodbye always possible; some years, school would let out for a break, and I'd never return.
     Worst of all, I never was able to say goodbye to my father, before he died, and I became estranged from my mother several years before she died. My father, simply, boarded a train bound for Bethesda Naval Hospital, barely a gray hair on his head, tan, fit and rugged ... never to return alive. My mother had never been a stable woman; she grew less so with the passage of time. My parents were throw-aways, orphan kids no-one wanted, who, miraculously, had found and clung to each other. 

I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye. -Pi Patel

     So much of what I know, I learned from my parents' lives. The two were polar opposites. My father had begun facing down death at a very early age, not just because he was orphaned young, but because he had fought in two wars. He was generous to everyone he met, to my mother's chagrin. He lived completely in the moment, was creative, imaginative and spontaneous. My mother was a hard-working, focused, frugal, woman. She knit or crocheted constantly ... never had her hands or mind on idle. An expert seamstress, Mother could tailor a suit or coat. Before a sewing project launched, however, the house had to be immaculate. She was anything but fanciful. Wherever in the world we lived, my mother would go twice a month to a bank, and deposit savings for my parents' retirement, for a life they would one day enjoy.
     The day came for my father to retire from the Navy. He wanted to hunt and fish, until he dropped dead. My mother's part of the dream was a beautiful home. We came to Colorado, to the Western Slope in the early 1950s. All the retirement savings were stolen by a contractor. Within two years my father was dead of pancreatic cancer. My mother never saw a cent of his retirement pay. She became a workaholic, a civil servant, until she died.
     I've relinquished careers and jobs, spending all my savings, any number of times in my life. Recent history is no exception. It makes life so much more difficult, but it also simplifies everything. Letting go is an art and, often, the wiser choice. It beats the hell out of tooth-grinding stress or resentment. 
     More important leaving and letting go open the portal to change, new directions to explore, new paths to follow. In the end I may have to relinquish my very life. In the meantime, my life and learning have made me a seeker. 
     My best advice, although I hate giving advice and virtually never take it, is not to dwell in the past or the future. Never doubt there are great adventures and riches in store. Here's to what lies ahead, my friends!

By Executive Order

Welcome to the roller coaster ride of the Affordable Health Care rollout, or could we call it that? I've come to wonder whether the this ride does not contain within it a microcosm of American Govern-ment in this century. First off it is difficult to discern who will loose and who will win, once people can even enroll. The facts of this legislation have been hidden behind non-issues, half truths and outright lies. Setting aside the issue of accountability for the failure of the rollout, who will be better off and who will be worse off, once those who must enroll have enrolled? It is a fair question, regardless of where one stands on the issue of health care/insurance reform. 

It was settled by the Constitution, the laws, and the whole practice of the government that the entire executive power is vested in the President of the United StateIs. -Andrew Jackson

According to Charles Ornstein, reporting on "Pro Publica," assuming healthcare.gov begins anew and timely, there will be actual winners and losers (i.e., real people gaining or losing ground in their health care coverage.) Here is the link to the entire article:

http://www.propublica.org/article/a-month-in-to-healthcaregov-real-life-winners-and-losers

• First are young people, many of whom are struggling in today's job market. They can remain covered by their parents' insurance, until they turn 26. I am biased here, because one of my grandsons will benefit from this provision.
• Next are people with pre-existing medical conditions, who cannot any longer be denied coverage for those conditions. Again, someone in my family qualifies.
• Next are poor and working poor people in states that have opted to expand their Medicaid programs, to cover people who are truly in need, those whose incomes are up to 138% of the federal poverty level. Incredibly enough, there are plenty of people who qualify (at an annual income of $32,499 for a family of four.) 

All well and good, but, in light of the hysteria, who will lose ground?

People in states that opted not to expand their Medicaid programs. These states will lose in terms of numbers of uninsured people, who should have been helped by the Affordable Health Care Act. 

• First are small businesses. They are among the missing, and the Obama Administration continues to delay creating a marketplace for them. It is difficult to predict how soon the Administration will rectify this.
• Next are people whose new (complying) insurance will cost them more in premiums, but who will be compensated by the government for the difference between what they will pay, versus what they have paid.
• The actual losers in the reshuffle are those who will pay more for their new insurance coverage, but who will not qualify for government compensation. The quality of their coverage will not improve sufficiently to offset the difference in cost.

In fact something on the order of 80% of Americans, who are working, and whose employers pay for their health coverage, are unaffected.

Meanwhile back at the S.N.A.F.U. of healthcare.gov, it has negated short-term wins and winners; it is an expensive loss from any angle. Long term, cost containment in health care and insurance rates, which could make much of this mess worthwhile, will take, by some estimates, a decade to be realized.

Here, to me, is what makes all this American government in a nutshell. The President of the United States, besides being constantly battered in partisan grudge matches, is so reliant upon contractors to effect just about anything, he can neither smell smoke, nor put out fires ... certainly not by executive order. 

Women and Pain

In the same way the lives of elders impinge on the lives of family members and friends of all ages, what affects women, particularly on a global scale, affects men. October 2013 to October 2014 is the International Association for the Study of Pain (IASP) Global Year Against Orofacial Pain. There is a greater issue behind this, the issue of women and chronic pain:  http://www.iasp-pain.org. The description of orofacial pain on the IASP site follows:  " ...a very frequent form of pain perceived in the face and/or oral cavity, caused by diseases or disorders of regional structures, by dysfunction of the nervous system, or through referral from distant sources." This site contains a wealth of information regarding chronic pain in women.

I am all-too familiar with the statistics regarding women and pain. More women than men suffer from certain conditions associated with chronic pain; fewer women than men receive effective treatment for chronic pain. The gap is both pervasive and real. Having suffered chronic pain, I know intimately the challenges it brings. My life's struggle has become addressing the causes and effects of degenerative joint disease. I've committed to avoiding pain medications and lifestyle choices that will further degrade my health, or hasten my death.  Depression, anger and fear over the ongoing reduction in the quality of my life can only serve to worsen my condition, so I continually work on my attitudes and beliefs.

Note to self:  I am doing the best I can with what I have in this moment, and that is all I can expect from anyone, including me. -Anonymous 

My interest in the larger context of women and pain was renewed recently, due to encounters with a friend of a friend I. Pam is in her forties, moves as though she were in her eighties or nineties. Her pain and profound unhappiness, are ever-present. She is slender and would be quite attractive, were it not for chronic misery and a tendency to self-immersion. Pam suffers from fibromyalgia, cannot work, and lives on Social Security benefits. Her health decline began a decade ago, when her husband suddenly died. It was , outside of anything else, a huge financial blow. As the widow of an underinsured spouse, Pam struggled with grief, financial loss and all the stressors of a life derailed. Before you dismiss fibromyalgia as a fictitious ailment, please know I've done the same. However what I know for certain is never to dismiss or diminish someone else's experience. Just listen; anyone who has chronic pain has certainly heard all manner of advice.

Love, not just self-love, but the healing of a loving relationship is critical.  I'm compelled not to shy away from the gender-specific issue of pelvic pain. It is excruciatingly difficult for women who deal with it.  It affects a woman's sexual life, but is difficult to discuss, even with a trusted physician. A 2009 book by Isa Herrera, Ending Female Pain: A Woman's Manual, is a worthy read for women and our sexual partners.

Research funds, like developments in the diagnosis and treatment of women worldwide, have never been equally available. We women can help ourselves, and there are many resources available online. Here is another good resource and a cause to espouse: http://www.endwomenspain.org. My personal favorite reference, in spite of Lance Armstrong, or, maybe because of his battle with cancer, is Livestrong. 

One thing every woman must do is stand up to the medical establishment. Many years ago, I had a physician, an OB GYN, dismiss my suffering. Don't get me wrong, he was not unkind in his dismissiveness. He patted my hand, while I vomited non-stop in his office. His answer to my 24/7 hyper emesis of pregnancy was, simply, take time away from my teaching career. I asked him how acceptable it would be for him to leave his profession and patients behind for several months, and what he expected would result. Male or female, if you are suffering from a chronic condition, this journey, like all other life journeys, is one of education, discovery and self-advocacy. Above all take heart. The dialogue about pain continues to evolve.

We are a long way from gender equality in medical research, diagnosis and treatment specific to women. Let us look toward changing attitudes and public policy in this country and worldwide. 

   

The Big A

While I'm ranting, why not tackle the subject most underrated in the wake of a difficult week, Accountability. It goes hand-in-hand with integrity. How often do we hear, "I was unaware ... not in control ... not in charge." Or, "I am under such pressure, I can't keep my commitments." Here is my favorite from both sides of the aisle in the government shutdown: "The demands we're making are not unreasonable demands." Denial and deflection have become high art in our society. Does it seem to you, they are simply reflected in our politics?

I live in a transitional urban neighborhood. There are still plenty of issues, in spite of recent development. A major theft caused one business to close its doors within months of opening. Tagging, graffiti and other vandalism are commonplace. The darker undercurrents involve drug dealing, as well as registered and un-registered sex offenders living in the immediate vicinity. My closest neighbors and I watch out for each other. It makes urban life bearable.   

We have a shelter in our neighborhood for homeless youth; a recent addition is 5280 Youth Center It seems it should be a good addition, a place for struggling boys and girls to attend events, eat and celebrate, although, not to congregate. (It just is not a safe place for the unwary.) 

I'll refrain from addressing the trend of 'tough love,' a holdover from a previous era, except to say this. The reality of living with derelict youth is far from ideal. Neighborhood residents endure fallout from Youth Center events -- loud, vulgar exchanges, rude behavior, damage to landscaping, littering, marijuana smoking and loitering. 

After an event this week, two giant planters were trashed, plants torn out, potting soil dumped on the sidewalk, and the watering systems pulled out. Plastic bottles, pop cans and candy wrappers abounded, and a dozen or so unsupervised males congregated behind commercial buildings. The individual in charge at 5280 Youth Center states his policy, "Once program attendees leave the facility, I am not responsible." If this has a familiar ring, refer to the first paragraph.

Life goes on, and the common undercurrent of our daily lives returns to the shocking lack of accountability in government. Washington D.C. is a reflection of our collective will or, is it our collective willingness? In any event, our elected legislators will not be picking up the tab for the $24 billion government hiatus. That will fall to American taxpayers. 

“A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody.”
― Thomas Paine

Meanwhile the excuses just keep rolling in, and the debt crisis is a sword of Damocles, hanging over our heads. The deadline will come relentlessly, while American citizens pay daily in deficits of trust and prestige here and abroad. We cannot any longer afford to be uninvolved. We have to be personally accountable, in order to expect accountability.

As for me, I'll have to make a trip to the Youth shelter and center, to see what I can contribute. 

A Bad Joke

What perfect timing for Democrats to propose another "one-time" $250 payment to Social Security beneficiaries. The "Obamacare" herring has stopped flopping around on the House floor, and the GOP has emerged from the woodwork with it's genuine agenda. Good to know the DieSooners haven't gone anywhere.  Cuts to Social Security and Medicare are their baby.

President Obama opened a door sometime ago, stating he favored tying Social Security to the Chained Consumer Price Index, which would reduce benefits. The reductions would be smaller for current beneficiaries than for future beneficiaries, smaller for impoverished Americans than for other groups. The cuts would be greatest for high earning retirees. Is this supposed to make us feel better? One journalist said she could think of lots of struggling young families who could use the money. Apparently she is not a member of a family that helps elder members with day-to-day needs, such as groceries.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. -Bill Cosby

Now the President is talking out of the other side of his mouth about seniors in this country, who are struggling just to keep food on the table. He's saying we will receive, at best, a token Cost of Living Increase in January, and, as a group, we are not faring well. -Really? 

Let us be clear. President Obama is using the life lines of senior citizens, Medicare and Social Security, as bargaining chips AGAIN. Is the $250 proposal based on his fear of the sheer numbers of older Americans who vote? I'd say it's some more smoke and mirrors by a man with a talent for rhetoric, but the lack of character to fulfill his promise.

Cleaning up waste and fraud are critical. Social Security should be strengthened. There are rational, reachable, methods for doing both. As a nation we do not have to engage in austerity measures we know create chaos and do not work. I am in doubt, personally, whether the current failures of government are not a product of manipulation by a particularly nasty faction, wealthy power brokers and acrimony. The GOP lost the last presidential election and the war over the Affordable Health Care Act, but they came out with their bag of dirty tricks intact.

One statement is fair in describing what has happened in America. The voices of the majority of Americans have been squelched. We were already drowning in special interests, the step children of a burgeoning crop of wealthy plutocrats. Now we're collateral damage, not in a war of ideologies, but in a war between elected officials with no stomach for anything other than winning.

Meanwhile, what do you think, will we get our lunch money? More to the point, will we forget the fear and loathing we've experienced, as the government shutdown and debt crisis threatened American lives? Hmmmm?

And the Hyena said to the Jackal ...

   

Do you ever have the feeling you have lived too long? When Barrack Obama was elected President of the United States, I recall rejoicing to have lived long enough to witness that time. Meanwhile scandals, some horrendous, have come and gone. This nation, so damaged by economic savagery, struggles to regain its footing, but continues to fail to regulate its financial institutions and enforce the laws of the land. The President is a slick debater and, as beleaguered as he is, he's no hero. Who knew Vladimir Putin would emerge as, at least, a smarter strategist.
     We do not have decreased unemployment; we have increased underemployment. We do not have social or economic justice; we have an incrementally growing gap between haves and have-nots in this country, based upon greed and bigotry. People like my parents, both orphans, abandoned and abused, cannot find purchase, because there is so little opportunity for anyone in this country, other than the overprivileged few.
     America is not being held hostage; it is falling apart at the seams. We do not have lack of leadership, we have an intellectually and morally bankrupt House of Representatives, a pack of noisy hyenas. The jackals on the other side of the aisle are no better. They move in, while the hyenas are attacking their own. They value winning above all else, so, in a perverse way, they partner with the hyenas. We have a ruthless elite in this country, winning at the expense of the the Republic, itself. It is neither ludicrous, nor disgusting; it is dangerous.

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. --James Bovard, "Lost Rights: The Destruction of American Liberty"

     Speaking of dangerous, how has the NSA scandal affected you? Have you had any new insights about privacy, since Snowden spilled the beans? My own epiphany came out of nowhere. I just got tired of tracking shipments of purchases made online from a couple of suppliers. In tracking one such package, I saw a tiny ad on the UPS site, saying I would no longer have to track packages; I could just sign up for e-mail or SmartPhone messages. Once a package is soon-to-be delivered, UPS, God bless 'em, would alert me. Wow. Herein begins the lesson. As I registered on the UPS site, the company asked me to verify my identity.
    The verification questions blew me away. UPS knows I stayed in a resort on Collins Avenue in Miami nearly two decades ago. UPS knows where my daughter lived recently, although we do not share a last name. They think I stayed in her home. They know who my grandson is and his birth date. Finally UPS knows someone named Lenore Cole, whom they believe to be my relative. I have no living Cole relatives, as I am the only child of two orphans, whose siblings died young. By ignoring the information they have on poor Lenore, I caused my own demise. UPS refused my identity.
     Who the hell are these people, what is their source for all this erroneous, albeit extremely sensitive, information about me and mine? The weird thing is we've never shipped things to one another via UPS.
      Right now I am thinking the NSA doesn't just have our information. They have corrupt ethics, but they also have corrupt data. Now that, my friends, is as dangerous as our federal budget rip tide.


   

I Am Not My Disability

Adult ADHD

We talk a great deal about empowering one another, particularly in the fields of health and education. If it is to be more than lip service, empowerment requires focused personal growth. We often talk about empowerment in the same way we talk about the celebration of ethnic diversity. 
     In fact, more often than not, we tolerate or overlook differences. Even though we use the term differently-abled, we're overlooking the differences, not celebrating the small steps and accomplishments.
     To maintain a close, personal relationship with a friend or family member with a disability is another matter. Honoring the whole person, disability and all, is a balancing act. Lacking insight, we try to have reasonable expectations, but we often err. There is no way to know how an injury, illness or disability challenges someone we love; there is far too much to know. Not everyone responds the same way to the same set of conditions. It must be extremely frustrating for a physician to learn by error, revising a treatment plan, hoping something will work. 
     Dog trainers admonish clients not to lose patience, if a dog disobeys, or learns slowly. The first thing is to observe whether the animal is in pain, sick or injured. Equally important, make no further demand. In other words, drop it! The effort will achieve nothing; in fact, it will be counter-productive. Any trainer will tell you dogs have bad days and good. Exercise patience and try alternate approaches. Cesar Milan sums it up perfectly. A calm, assertive manner and the calm assertiveness of peers are the most powerful training tools at an owner's command.
     If only we could teach people to relate to other people the same way! It would alleviate hasty, unfair, judgments. It would demand we look for insight first, then, express expectations in a calm, assertive manner. We could drop the subject. We would be accountable for how we conduct our side of the relationship, and it would encourage fresh starts.

Confidence and empowerment are cousins in my opinion. Empowerment comes from within and typically it's stemmed and fostered by self-assurance. To feel empowered is to feel free and that's when people do their best work. You can't fake confidence or empowerment. -Amy Jo Martin

     Here's another thought: so many disabilities, injuries and illnesses are invisible. Add to this, we tend to ignore the disabilities of high-functioning people. We do so by failing to perceive the person as more than his or her achievements and capabilities. We just don't see people who overcome challenges as having climbed 14,000 foot peaks to get where they are. 
     When a neighbor revealed his disability to me, I realized I'd had no grasp of his disability or his private, daily struggle. An acquaintance, who works in a health profession said, when she looked at an injured or ill patient, she envisioned the patient healed. I was grateful she did not use the word whole, because everyone is whole by definition. 

Besides asking more and better questions, we can rethink our reactions and recognize the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Shutting down ...

"What, me, worry?"

Get your copy, while it's hot! It's "Mad Magazine," the Washington D.C. edition. House Republicans will not fund the United States Government, unless Affordable Health Care ceases to be funded. The shutdown, however, will not impede changes taking place under the Act, because the funding is not in the Congressional budget.

     "Where is the surprise in the current meltdown," you may ask. After all this nation has operated sans budget, since 2009, narrowly averting a shutdown, until now. In the event anyone is worried, until a couple of weeks from now, when the nation finds itself poised on another debt precipice, here is how the shutdown will affect most of us: 

• Furloughs: Federal employees (800,000 of them) will be furloughed. They can look forward to being paid retroactively, once the shutdown is over. At least, that has been the case in the past. Personnel engaged in services, such as air traffic control, hazardous waste removal and food inspection will not be furloughed. 
• Office Closures: Of course, furloughs mean federal office closures, not just in Washington D.C. The Department of State generates sufficient fees to support it's operations. However, offices located in federal buildings affected by the shutdown may not be able to open. 
• National Parks: None of us and none of our foreign visitors will be able to visit national parks, national zoos or national museums. All National Park Services sites will close, 368 of them.
• Travel Documents: With any luck, you have a valid passport, particularly if you must travel abroad. Passports will not be issued. The shutdown of 17 years ago halted the issuance of 200,000 travel documents. The impact on cruise and airline revenues was extreme, not to mention, tourism suffered worldwide.
• National Defense: Active duty military members will remain on duty, but a bipartisan bill seeking to protect their paychecks failed in January. They won't be paid, until the government is functioning, and appropriations for military pay resume. Families of non-commissioned personnel will be particularly hard-pressed to meet their needs. There is additional bad news for military personnel. Some administrative functions will cease. Medical services will be limited. Facilities maintenance will be suspended. Most of the civilian employees, who serve the military will be furloughed. 
• Death/Taxes: Deaths will proceed as usual, as will the IRS. U.S. bonds will continue to be issued and other essential banking functions will remain in place. The U.S. Postal Service will also be unaffected by the shutdown.
• Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives: The shutdown will apply to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, in case you were wondering. They won't be issuing gun permits for a time. That's okay by me, personally. Government loans, however, such as small business loans, won't be being processed, nor will federal home loans. 
• Social Security: Social Security will likely send checks, except, of course, to new beneficiaries, but veterans aren't going to be in great shape, as their checks will be delayed. 
• Washington Residents:  If you live in Washington D.C., btw, buy a supply of surgical masks, aromatherapy oils and tall rubber boots. D.C.s budget is driven by Congressional approvals, so an estimated 500 tons of garbage will accumulate in the Capitol weekly. -Nice. 

Colorado residents are definitely on edge, because so many are recovering from disastrous floods. The state's infrastructure was so drastically damaged, we cannot afford delays. Ironically, national polls estimate only 51% of United States citizens blame the Republican Party for the current state of affairs. -Huh?

Oh Hell No!

"Say summ'n else smartt to me!" -Madea 

One of my friends and I both work in organizations dedicated to serving elder Americans. We are in the trenches, and know the weight of poverty crushing the population we serve. We know their voices and votes could comprise a huge collective. We also know how dispirited many are, but we agree. If every American over the age of 50 participates fully in community and in government, we can help our Nation regain it's moral compass.

Shift gears for a moment, and think in terms of a company, rather than a country. Say you and your colleagues, officers of the company, make $174,000 per year on average. The company, however, is in trouble. Production has slowed; in other words, you and they are getting less done than your predecessors. Your colleagues, by the way, are contentious, not to say, obstructive. Some carry a personal grudge against the CEO; they loath his politics. Indeed some are bigots. They attack him and all who support him, promoting their agenda at all costs. Their focus is so narrow and fixed, they cannot allow the company to move forward. They've damaged the company's credit rating, while screaming about its debts. Today they promoted new budget measures, knowing executive branch cannot accept. The company is now no better than a hostage ... funding for all production screeches to a halt.

Does any of this sound familiar? The Huffington Post calls it the worst House of Representatives in history. The Washington Post cites thirteen reasons why it is the worst ever, calling it "hideously unpopular." Regardless of the dozen or so reasons, the headlines said it all on Friday, September 20, 2013.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2012/07/13/13-reasons-why-this-is-the-worst-congress-ever/

Our government leaders ... have made many mistakes in the past, when they have lost sight of the sacred American values rooted in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. We are at the bring of even graver mistakes and assaults on these values.

 -Samuel Dash

This Congress began by waging a campaign against minorities, women, children, elders and disabled citizens. But, wait, they are now gnawing away at the Middle Class. This is it, people, this is all of us, except the 1%, who, by the way, are doing exceedingly well. For people trying to restore their lives, in a painfully slow economic recovery, Congress wants to gut SNAP. -Affordable health care? This is it, the fourth vote to scuttle affordable health care. We've played into their hands by attaching President Obama's name to it, as though it were the product of a partisan agenda. Programs designed to aid vulnerable citizens and economic recovery, look like Humpty Dumpty at the bottom of yet another contrived fiscal cliff.

The question is not what more can we take, it is what more will we take. Some of our rights in this country are still protected. Talk to your government! Tell your congressperson today how ashamed you are of the paltry accomplishments of this Congress. Tell him or her the bullying of the few must stop!

-Had enough living on less, lowering expectations, doing battle, just to maintain the status quo? Do more. Organize and publicize a group, attend meetings, write letters, contact the media and make phone calls. 

Get Ready! Get Set!

What not to do!

My daughter and grandson are preparedness gurus. We lived in South Florida for many years. We have all walked and driven through Hollywood, Miami and Fort Myers, Florida, only to find entire malls and luxury hotels standing vacant, stark reminders of the destructive power of past hurricanes. It is easy for me to recall the destruction of Hurricane Andrew, decades ago; remnants of the destruction still exist. More recently Hurricane Ivan cut a channel through Florida's Barrier Islands, decimating multi-million dollar homes. The roof of my daughter's own little house caved, allowing torrential rain to cascade into the living room. Displaced, she and her child rebuilt their lives in a damaged economy.

We cannot stop natural disasters, but we can arm ourselves with knowledge: so many lives wouldn't have to be lost if there was enough disaster preparedness.  -Petra Nemcova

In spite of a decade living in Miami Beach, I admit to having done a mediocre job of preparing my household for disaster. After many years of mountaineering and exploring desert terrains, I should be Uber Heidi, overly prepared at all times. But, I've been fortunate to live most of my adult life in Colorado. Did I say Colorado? Some of you will be wondering, at this point, just how fortunate it is to live here? Cyclic droughts, momentary weather changes, ferocious winds and devastating blizzards. We have them all, no big deal! 

For the last few years, though, Colorado has burned in the heat. Wild fires have become a familiar threat. Now, along with immense burn areas, we have experienced historic torrents of rain. The combination was deadly. News media throughout the world are showing footage of Colorado's disastrous flash floods. So what have we learned? I think emergency preparedness is part of the learning, at least, for me. 

Stepping up our games may be reasonably easy, because the information we need is available at our fingertips. Are you ready? FEMA has a preparedness community. Of course, we have organizations throughout the states, particularly in major metropolitan areas, dedicated to preparing individuals and institutions for emergencies. I now belong to the FEMA Preparedness Community. The Internet site contains a wealth of in-formation, as well as news. 

http://community.fema.gov/connect.ti/READYNPM

No joke, whether or not climate change suddenly reverses, be prepared! If you're not particularly prepared, and looking for a place to start, begin today. It will prove well worth the investment.

Autumn and Remembrance

What is Autumn for you? Is it an energizing change of weather and pace? Is it the gateway to holiday celebrating? Do you wait for the magical landscapes of Winter? In Colorado mornings and evenings grow cold and the air is rarified. In our foothills the smell of sage grows pungent. Prickly pears, rose hips, choke cherries and service berries abound. In the city wood smoke, dead leaves and the winey smell of apples the ground evoke times past.

Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, has come so soon this year. I'm not Jewish, but have close Jewish friends, and I know this is a time of remembrance and reflection. I like the idea of each person taking time to own his or her contributions, good and bad, for the year. I like looking forward to the sweetness of the year ahead, symbolized by dipping apple slices and bread in honey.

You expected to be sad in the fall. Part of you died each year when the leaves fell from the trees and their branches were bare against the wind and the cold, wintery light. But you knew there would always be the spring, as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen. When the cold rains kept on and killed the spring, it was as though a young person died for no reason. 

― Earnest Hemigway, A Moveable Feast

Songs about Autumn are often sad, harkening to endings, rather than beginnings. To me, Antonio Vivaldi had it right! Now is the time when everything peaks, arousing the senses like a fine vintage. Autumn is a call to action. Clean the house, by all means, but don't forget to leave! Long walks help clear out cobwebs, figurative and literal. 

Sara Ban Breathnach's book, Simple Abundance is a wonderful guide to celebrating home. I rarely endorse books, but I also like her book Peace and Plenty. I plan to start a new journal, completely renovate my personal records, and accomplish things I've been putting off. I've begun a new enterprise involving transitioning people who languish in residential health care. What a great theme for a new year, transition, crossing over to a new place!

Let's look ahead, my friends, with all the fire we can muster, like virtuosos performing Vivaldi's Four Seasons.