Holiday Help for Caregivers

The challenge of caring for one or more family members at home confronts approximately one-third of American adults. If you are one of these family caregivers, you are undoubtedly aware of the resources available in your community, which offer the training and tools to help caregivers succeed. Many are online, as well. Here are a couple of good links.

http://www.aarp.org/home-family/caregiving/ http://caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/content_node.jsp?nodeid=2224

Huffington Post contributor, Hilary young provides a thoughtful article with tips for holiday survival for caregivers here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hilary-young/tips-to-ease-holiday-stress-for-caregivers_b_4261379.html We know for certain, it is a stretch to attend to everything and everyone day-to-day, let alone, during holidays. First you may have to change or lower your expectations and those of family members. 

     This may not be the Thanksgiving to gussy up and get dive into a restaurant crowd. This also may not be the year to try turducken or mom’s incredible pumpkin chiffon pie for the first time. Plan and cook ahead, if possible. If you insist upon cooking, America’s Test Kitchen’s recipe for braised turkey is moist and perfectly delicious. Best of all it is easy and the turkey makes its own gravy, as it cooks!

http://www.americastestkitchen.com/recipes/6830-braised-turkey-with-gravy.

     Plain and fancy pre-cooked Thanksgiving meals are available for pickup or delivery. Just do it! Don’t look back. From Sam’s Club or Costco, to Whole Foods, depending upon the budget, you can order an enjoyable, totally stress-free meal. Cooking is my life, but, if there is going to be bread and pie baking it will be done elsewhere this year. Nor will any of us be killing ourselves to make the household spotless. 

     Get out the good china, sterling and crystal, and dress everyone to the nines. Or serve the meal on disposable tableware to a jeans-clad crew. I promise, the latter is perfectly acceptable. We gather to celebrate gratitude, itself, and the people who share food and drink at our tables. Memories of celebrations past may be joyful or sad, but nostalgia doesn't have to be tied to expectation; just be happy now.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. - Melody Beattie

     A critical part of every holiday is self-care, particularly for caregivers. On the Never Do List is neglecting to set aside downtime, whether you spend it alone meditating, or engaging in pampering or entertainment. Be as generous with yourself as possible, and, by all means, enlist help. Once depleted in mind, body or spirit, we cannot serve others effectively.

     I plan to make a wish or blessing jar this year, decorate it, and pass it around the Thanksgiving table with notepaper and a pen. Some of our family will be taking vacation breaks this year. The rest of us are literally and figuratively limping, but we plan to enjoy each other and rare face time ... priceless! 

     Care giving, more often than not, feels thankless. Thank you for the myriad things you do every day, large and small!