Fear and Loathing: A Salute To Seniors

     Okay, so what would you think Las Vegas, fat, greasy Elvis impersonators and Colorado elders have in common? C'mon now, think hard. The clock is ticking. "Yes, lady in the purple hat, it is farfetched, but you got it right! Lucky you, adventure awaits. You win a trip to the Colorado Gerontological Society's April 2015 Salute to Seniors!" Whoopee I know I am excited.      

      Anyone will tell you Elvis slamming and Vegas loathing do not merely border on the trite. Even in light of the negative publicity surrounding Ferguson, Missouri, though, Vegas manages to distinguish itself as an equal opportunity offender, a city millions love to hate. A "Las Vegas Weekly Magazine" edition published one insult to the city that seems to sum it all up: "a nonstop spectacle of fat ... Midwesterners, Arab sheiks, the elderly, gangsta thugs, greasy Lotharios with unbuttoned shirts and scantily clad club ladies all commingling inside a giant pinball machine." Pretty apt, although Hunter Thompson nailed it in "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas." Then there is the Mayor of Las Vegas, who offered a trip to a lake with cement shoes for Vegas critics ... classy, don't you think?

But our trip was different. It was a classic affirmation of everything right and true and decent in the national character. It was a gross, physical salute to the fantastic possibilities of life in this country-but only for those with true grit. And we were chock full of that.~Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

     
Oh, you say, but, "Elvis is even more an archetype than Vegas, complete with minions of worshipers?" Dear readers, proof that Elvis long since left the building lies in the endless supply of ghastly impersonators, who opt his lugubrious appearance and style, but so lack his talent. Thank you. Thank you very much, Colorado's Annual Salute to Seniors 2015 promises to be a ride ... reminiscent of the carnival rides of long ago. We all dwell in nostalgia, though, don't we? Hell, who am I to criticize? Would I have a better idea for a huge attempt to market your balls off to to hapless seniors? No.

And if there's any hope for America, it lies in a revolution, and if there's any hope for a revolution in America, it lies in getting Elvis Presley to become Che Guevara. ~Phil Ochs 

     Please do not take this as an indictment of the Colorado Gerontological Society. I am unsure whether they could do better by Colorado seniors. With the resources the Society has it does fine work. I just wonder whether the annual Salute couldn't be better named. In the alternative perhaps we could hope for a more meaningful way to honor seniors. On the other hand, maybe Denver's income challenged elders would not attend. After all there wouldn't be so much landfill fodder for hoarders to grab n' stash (ball point pens, hard candies, notepads, key rings and, as Andy Griffith once said, "I don't know what all.")

     As for me, I attended last year's Salute as a volunteer, although I did little to earn my free pass. The Convention Center food concessions were pricey and as mediocre as any Denver street food. The celebrities were sad reminders of early television. I was looking for a better Medicare insurer, although they all look pretty much the same to me. At the end of the day it was an unimpressive, somehow, unsatisfying affair. I still have one ball point pen, and guess that is something.